To: All Employees
From: Unohana, Retsu MD <unohanar@bleach.inc.com>
Date: 04.05.06
Subject: Yearly mental health evaluations! =)

To all employees:

At the command of TPTB, all employees are to report to the medical department for their yearly psych consultation. We just want to make sure everyone is happy and not going to end up killing their co-workers in a furious rage. It won't hurt a bit!

Please reply with a date and time that you are available. If you do not reply, we will assume that you are crazy, and four strong men will report to your office to cart you off in a pretty white jacket.

Thanks!

With love,
Dr. Unohana

o_0 Daddy believes he will have to hide in the closet until these so called "evaluations" are done.

. . . he is scared. Is Peru still a country? There was a mermaid girl or something like that born there if Daddy remembers correctly. Daddy might have to flee the country.

He's not quite sane you know. Have managed to avoid anyone finding out until now but he feels a trained professional might possibly find out his most private demon secrets.

Like that dream he had about Ichigo and the butter. o_0 Daddy had to scrub himself with brillo pads after that.

So dirty.

. . . Daddy is contemplating using the tie he was forced to wear as a makeshift implement of suicide.

It's so boring. Stupid colors. They mock me.

Daddy has decided he is going to burn down the building.

Where the hell is my red stapler?!

Daddy is feeling very morose. What do the kids call it? Emuing? Oh.. Emoing. Daddy Emoed all over the lovely lady he met at the bus stop. She had many lovely cats and it reminded Daddy of his lost love. The sad look in the little black cat's eyes. :sob: Daddy broke down at the bus stop and the nice lady with many cats agreed to be Daddy's blind date to the valentine thing;
http://community.livejournal.com/bleach_inc/33101.html

Daddy will wear his purple tux and is contemplating dying his hair orange like his worthless son's. It seems to get him chicks. Daddy would like his chair share of chicks and the goatee is not working like it used to.

PS. It has been called to question what Daddy actually does at this company. Daddy believes he has found it. Head of Loss Prevention! That sounds quite impressive. Daddy found it on the internet and now walks around sporting it on a giant sticky nametag. Fashionable and important.

What does Daddy DO here?! He knows it has something to do with the pushing of the papers and the playing with the phones. Daddy has figured out how to play twinkle twinkle on the phone after he depressed the computer. That was fun so now he has moved on to pushing the pencils off his desk. They make a nice noise as they roll off. Plus it has the added fun of tripping the people who come into his office unprepared. Daddy likes watching people fall. Can he get paid for doing that?

Daddy thinks his computer is quite quite sad. He made it cry. o_0 Daddy did not mean to. Spilled some liquid on it and tried to mop it up with a jelly donut. Daddy misses that donut. It was good.

Daddy knows there is a sticky bun thief somewhere in the building. He can smell the sticky smell... smells like evil. Sugary evil.

You will be hunted down like the dog you are.

Daddy gets crazy when deprived of his sweet sweet sticky goodness in the morning.

Daddy would also like to say that the DRESS CODE perpetuated by the COLOR NAZIS does not apply to him. And they can take his tiara away from his cold dead fingers. But do take it from his right hand as his left will be full of the sweet sticky goodness.